Top 4 Worst Hit Songs of 2014 (So Far) Part 1

After I did my “Top 4 Best Albums of the First Quarter of 2014” list I’ve been wanting to do this one. Now, I want to set up some rules before I do this.

Rules:

1. The song didn’t have to come out 2014 but it had to get popular in 2014.

2. If rule number 1 applies then the song has to be from 2013.

Well…that’s about it.

So, without further ado, here is my list of the top 4 worst songs in 2014 (so far). Also, this is not in any order.

1. Talk Dirty – Jason Derulo

jderulo_zps612630fe

 

Let me just say I was never a fan with the human waste that is Jason Derulo. I never saw him as a good performer. All he was was a living autotune box that “sampled” parts of other songs. But, then I heard this. This…noise coming from my radio. It wasn’t music, just a noise. I knew instantly…that this noise…was the sound of Jason Derulo’s autotune voice-box.

Now, the song itself sounded like it would be cool. The trumpet part actually sounded pretty cool to me. (Of course, I’ve always loved trumpet parts no matter what. Trumpets are just the coolest things ever.) But, when Jason started “singing” the song turned from okay to f***ing terrible. The whole premise of the song is that Jason is “singing” about all the girls he’s had “international oral sex” with in the world. The song is just unpleasant, not good to dance to or sing to, and is just one of the most sickening songs of this year. But, if you haven’t heard it yet then here’s the song down below.

2. #Selfie – The Chainsmokers

20140317075825!The_Chainsmokers_-_Selfie

Another f***ing techno/dubstep/EDM dance song. God I hate these songs. The reason I hate these songs so much is that they are DANCE songs. You know, songs meant for DANCING. You see, these songs are meant for clubs, not for the radio. Only a couple times have I actually liked an EDM song that was on the radio (Clarity and Wake Me Up). But, what is this song about. It’s about a typical white girl (White Girl: A creature who often posts pictures of Starbucks on Instagram, Tumblr, or Facebook. Often wears leggings and Ugg Boots and posts about how Nutella is very good when everybody knows it is. You will always see a White Girl with her Ugg Boots on, Leggings on, and IPhone at Starbucks. Source: Urban Dictionary) wanting to take a selfie…yes, that’s it. You hear this and then it goes to the EDM part. I know, so smart and original. There’s not really much you can say about it. It sounds like every other EDM song out there. Here’s the song below if you’d like to torture yourself though.

3. Dark Horse – Katy Perry

Katy-Perry-ft-Juicy-J-Dark-Horse-Official-Video

Katy Perry, what happened to you? I used to tolerate you but then you did that boring-ass song Roar (Eye of the Tiger my ass). But now…this is an even lower low. First of all, you have no clue what a “dark horse” is, do you? A “dark horse” is: a little-known person or thing that emerges to prominence, especially in a competition of some sort or a contestant that seems unlikely to succeed (Source: Wikipedia). Your music video and the lyrics completely show nothing of any sort to that definition. This song has nothing to do with doing that. This song is a break-up song. Obviously being that a guy dated her shows that she wasn’t a “little-known person”. Now, you can make the accusation that this song shows her rising up from her break up and becoming “prominent” again but, again, she already was prominent, before and after the breakup. There’s no reason to become important again as you already are. Oh, and the song has a terrible beat, terrible lyrics, the worst rap verse I may have ever heard and is just boring as hell…yeah, this may be the worst Katy Perry song ever. That’s saying a lot as she did Roar. Song down below.

4. Turn Down for What – DJ Snake & Lil Jon

IMG_0327

Another f***ing EDM song! Jesi (the plural for Jesus), stop making this crap and putting it on my radio! This one is even worse than #Selfie and I hate that song with a passion. Again, since it’s an EDM song I can’t say much about it. I can at least say that #Selfie actually had more than one line in the whole song. Sure, I still think it had less than 10 but it still had more. This song just has the same line repeated over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and…sorry, this song screws with your head. It just repeats the line “Turn down for what” over and over again. It even says it in the most obnoxious way possible. It sounds like how Kanye West rapped in N***as in Paris. Yes, that obnoxious. If you haven’t heard that song, here’s the video. Kanye has the second verse.

So, obnoxious voice and terrible beat. What more could ask for in a god awful song. Here’s the this song as well.

Well, there’s my list of the worst songs so far this year. Yeah, this year isn’t starting off too well. Thank god I have Aloe Blacc and Misterwives to listen to. If you feel like there’s a song that was worse than any of these songs, please tell me down below. I’d love to know so that maybe it could go on my next list June. Until then, I’ll be here doing other articles. See you then.

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11 thoughts on “Top 4 Worst Hit Songs of 2014 (So Far) Part 1

  1. You couldn’t be more right with your choices. Especially the Jason Derulo. That song is just…ugh

  2. Dave says:

    And a few months after this was posted, “Wiggle” (also by Jason Derulo) came out. I have little doubt that it would make the list.

  3. John says:

    Where is Happy

  4. Laelyn says:

    I actually kinda liked Dark Horse but I agree with the other 3 songs being awful, especially Turn Down For What—that song has only 3 lines in it, repeated!!

  5. BradenC123 says:

    Turn Down For What is amazing!

  6. antinanco says:

    Turn Down for What is not a bad song. It’s a dance song and can be legitimately be played in a club. I actually like the movement in it too. It’s kind of disheartening that you list that song when there are much worse offenders. will.i.am made songs this year. Chris Brown isn’t in jail still. I’ll understand that you don’t like it, but can’t understand why you’d choose it over some of the shitburgers out there peddling their “art” in the music industry. I mean it’s got Lil Jon in it and he’s not advocating knocking your ho’s teeth out. That’s a victory, I think.

  7. Joey says:

    I knew I wasn’t the only one that hated Turn Down for What. That would have to be on my worst songs of all time list. As an EDM fan, I would have to ask for this song not to be classified as EDM because it gives people the wrong idea about this genre of music. This songs genre is just club crap for people who have no taste in music. I must also add, that the only thing I turn down for is this song.

  8. nothing says:

    Columbia Records must’ve been fucking high as fuck to the point where their brains are rotting like dead fucking corpse dissected and thrown in a grinding machine when they accepted the song turn down for what. THIS SONG IS FUCKING HORRIBLE SHIT FUCK CUNT PORN

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