After I did my “Top 4 Best Albums of the First Quarter of 2014” list I’ve been wanting to do this one. Now, I want to set up some rules before I do this.
1. The song didn’t have to come out 2014 but it had to get popular in 2014.
2. If rule number 1 applies then the song has to be from 2013.
Well…that’s about it.
So, without further ado, here is my list of the top 4 worst songs in 2014 (so far). Also, this is not in any order.
1. Talk Dirty – Jason Derulo
Let me just say I was never a fan with the human waste that is Jason Derulo. I never saw him as a good performer. All he was was a living autotune box that “sampled” parts of other songs. But, then I heard this. This…noise coming from my radio. It wasn’t music, just a noise. I knew instantly…that this noise…was the sound of Jason Derulo’s autotune voice-box.
Now, the song itself sounded like it would be cool. The trumpet part actually sounded pretty cool to me. (Of course, I’ve always loved trumpet parts no matter what. Trumpets are just the coolest things ever.) But, when Jason started “singing” the song turned from okay to f***ing terrible. The whole premise of the song is that Jason is “singing” about all the girls he’s had “international oral sex” with in the world. The song is just unpleasant, not good to dance to or sing to, and is just one of the most sickening songs of this year. But, if you haven’t heard it yet then here’s the song down below.
2. #Selfie – The Chainsmokers
Another f***ing techno/dubstep/EDM dance song. God I hate these songs. The reason I hate these songs so much is that they are DANCE songs. You know, songs meant for DANCING. You see, these songs are meant for clubs, not for the radio. Only a couple times have I actually liked an EDM song that was on the radio (Clarity and Wake Me Up). But, what is this song about. It’s about a typical white girl (White Girl: A creature who often posts pictures of Starbucks on Instagram, Tumblr, or Facebook. Often wears leggings and Ugg Boots and posts about how Nutella is very good when everybody knows it is. You will always see a White Girl with her Ugg Boots on, Leggings on, and IPhone at Starbucks. Source: Urban Dictionary) wanting to take a selfie…yes, that’s it. You hear this and then it goes to the EDM part. I know, so smart and original. There’s not really much you can say about it. It sounds like every other EDM song out there. Here’s the song below if you’d like to torture yourself though.
3. Dark Horse – Katy Perry
Katy Perry, what happened to you? I used to tolerate you but then you did that boring-ass song Roar (Eye of the Tiger my ass). But now…this is an even lower low. First of all, you have no clue what a “dark horse” is, do you? A “dark horse” is: a little-known person or thing that emerges to prominence, especially in a competition of some sort or a contestant that seems unlikely to succeed (Source: Wikipedia). Your music video and the lyrics completely show nothing of any sort to that definition. This song has nothing to do with doing that. This song is a break-up song. Obviously being that a guy dated her shows that she wasn’t a “little-known person”. Now, you can make the accusation that this song shows her rising up from her break up and becoming “prominent” again but, again, she already was prominent, before and after the breakup. There’s no reason to become important again as you already are. Oh, and the song has a terrible beat, terrible lyrics, the worst rap verse I may have ever heard and is just boring as hell…yeah, this may be the worst Katy Perry song ever. That’s saying a lot as she did Roar. Song down below.
4. Turn Down for What – DJ Snake & Lil Jon
Another f***ing EDM song! Jesi (the plural for Jesus), stop making this crap and putting it on my radio! This one is even worse than #Selfie and I hate that song with a passion. Again, since it’s an EDM song I can’t say much about it. I can at least say that #Selfie actually had more than one line in the whole song. Sure, I still think it had less than 10 but it still had more. This song just has the same line repeated over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and…sorry, this song screws with your head. It just repeats the line “Turn down for what” over and over again. It even says it in the most obnoxious way possible. It sounds like how Kanye West rapped in N***as in Paris. Yes, that obnoxious. If you haven’t heard that song, here’s the video. Kanye has the second verse.
So, obnoxious voice and terrible beat. What more could ask for in a god awful song. Here’s the this song as well.
Well, there’s my list of the worst songs so far this year. Yeah, this year isn’t starting off too well. Thank god I have Aloe Blacc and Misterwives to listen to. If you feel like there’s a song that was worse than any of these songs, please tell me down below. I’d love to know so that maybe it could go on my next list June. Until then, I’ll be here doing other articles. See you then.